if jimmie johnson isn’t vanilla, then what flavor is he?

NEW YORK - SEPTEMBER 10:  Dale Earnhardt Jr #88 Energy Chevrolet and Denny Hamlin #11 FedEx Toyota practice an ice cream throwing stunt backstage prior to their apperance on 'Live with Regis and Kelly' during the NASCAR Chase Media Tour on September 10, 2008 in New York City.  (Photo by Mike Stobe/Getty Images for NASCAR)As the campaign to prove that Jimmie Johnson isn’t vanilla rolls on, I thought it would be fun to assign an ice cream flavor to each of the drivers in The Chase for the Sprint Cup Series Championship.

I don’t know why Jimmie would mind being vanilla, I mean, it’s a classic and reliable flavor (how do you mess up vanilla??). It’s a trusty, go-to flavor, and doesn’t that make sense for him since we rely on him to win all the time? I’m just sayin’.

1.) Jimmie Johnson – Ben & Jerry’s New York Super Fudge Chunk: He has a house in New York and this is as far away from Vanilla as possible. Happy, Jimmie?? :)

2.) Denny Hamlin – Ben & Jerry’s Neapolitan Dynamite: Because Denny is the only one that sort of reminds me of Napoleon Dynamite.

3.) Kevin Harvick – Ben & Jerry’s Chubby Hubby: He’s not chubby, but he is a hubby.

4.) Jeff Gordon – Rocky Road: It’s been one for, like, the past 2 or 3 years, right?

5.) Kyle Busch – Pistachio: I’m not a fan of Pistachio

6.) Carl Edwards – Vanilla frozen yogurt: Carl is all about eating healthy (Subway!), and staying ab-tacular, so this is all he can have. :)

7.) Tony Stewart – Ben & Jerry’s Chunky Monkey: He had a monkey once.

8.) Matt Kenseth – Ben & Jerry’s Imagine Whirled Peace: He never gets into fights, ok there was that time with Jeff Gordon, but overall Kenseth is Switzerland.

9.) Kurt Busch – Rum Raisin: Alcohol, there’s no such thing as beer ice cream. :)

10.) Jeff Burton – Ben & Jerry’s Stephen Colbert’s AmeriCone Dream: This happens to be my favorite Ben & Jerry’s flavor and it’s also the only flavor that is remotely related to politics, and ya know Jeff Burton will be a politician somewhere, someday. Just go with me on this OK?

11.) Greg Biffle – Ben & Jerry’s Phish Food: Can’t you imagine Biffle relaxin’ with some of this yummy chocolately, caramely, marshmallowy, fudge fishy goodness?

12. ) Clint Bowyer – Ben & Jerry’s Maple Blondie: He’s blonde, duh.

3 Comments

  1. November 6, 2010 at 6:43 PM ·

    LOVE the ice cream comparisons! What ever happened to Tony’s monkey, I wonder?

  2. November 7, 2010 at 12:20 AM ·

    This is GREAT!

    But I’d say Clint is more like Karamel Sutra. Kurt could be Fossil Fuel since Shell/Penzoil will be his sponsor next year. Another good one for Kevin would be Snickerdoodle… only because I “snicker” at some of the hijinx he gets up to.

    LOL on the Pistachio, and now I’ll never be able to look at Denny again without thinking of Napoleon Dynamite.

  3. BeachGal
    November 12, 2010 at 12:23 PM ·

    Tony’s monkey is in a zoo. I think he’s at the Louisville Zoo. Chunky Monkey is totally good for him!