preseason thunder: not interested in dale jr.’s chips

NASCAR drivers reported to Daytona International Speedway yesterday for two days of Sprint Cup Series Preseason Thunder testing. This was supposed to be an extra-special testing session because they were driving the new sixth-generation car.

Some drivers had press conferences, here’s what I’ve learned:

— Dale Earnhardt Jr. has a new potato chip line coming out. Uhm, ok? Look, I love Dale Jr. but why is this necessary? What happened to his candy bar? I had one once (I even wrote about it) and it was good, but it was never going to match a Twix or a Kit Kat. And I’m guessing they didn’t rework potato chips either.

— Matt Kenseth said he hasn’t gone on a date with Denny Hamlin or Kyle Busch, YET! 🙂 He was asked if he’d learned anything about his new teammates on a personal level.

His exact words:

“We haven’t been out on a date or anything yet with either one of them so I haven’t really learned anything on a personal level. Just been working on racing stuff. Probably can see the same stuff you guys can see, but other than that I haven’t really learned anything on a personal level about them I didn’t already know.”

— Clint Bowyer is so totally over Jeff Gordon. He didn’t talk to him about their incident last year in Phoenix even though they were both on P. Diddy’s yacht on New Year’s Eve. So here’s my question, how does one get an invite to Diddy’s New Year’s Eve party? Like, how does that work with celebrities? Can you just show up and get in because you’re a pro athlete? Or if my boat just happened to be parked next to Diddy’s boat I could get in that way? We really need to know these things. I wish someone had asked Clint and Jeff about that. That was a seriously missed opportunity. What happened at the party? Who else was there?? PEOPLE WANT TO KNOW THESE THINGS. 🙂

Here’s what Jeff Gordon said about it:

“The question is how he got on the yacht. That needs to be the real question. My family and I have been going down to St. Barts for the last four of five years and we love going down there for New Year’s. I knew that Clint (Bowyer) and Kevin (Harvick) were down there because Rick Hendrick’s boat was down there and I think they were on that boat through a charter with some friends of theirs. I stopped by there to say hi one time and they were gone, they were out having fun or doing something. Then I went about my business and on New Year’s Ingrid and I went to a couple different parties and ended up at one, which was really the party of the year if you ask me. It was an amazing event that P. Diddy had. We were just hanging out having a good time and on walks Bowyer and Harvick and a couple other folks. I don’t know, it was a great New Year’s. I enjoyed myself very much.”